Page 18 - HERE AND NOW Dec 2022

male “authority” figure that I could begin to see him as a human/person. Until then, I felt blocked in his
presence.
There is, of course, a lot here that one can go into about the process of setting up someone as an authority
figure, the why’s and how’s which is not within the scope of this piece.

Not that I hadn’t already ‘known’ that I have issues with male authority figures, especially if they were
elderly, and that a large part of this came from my childhood experience. However, what the ISABs lab did
for me, and which is of particular relevance here is that the here and now process, and the heart-to-heart,
open feedback---both given and taken - enabled my behavioural process to unfold in the group. It made
me see in a meaningful way how this manifested outside and affected the group process’. I saw how I
tended to get stuck in the group and how it limited my adding value to the group and prevented others
from forming an accurate perception of me.

I realised after this lab that I need to stretch my newly acquired ‘muscles’ of openness and unguardedness,
twist and shake off my old ways of communication, allowing the fresh air of safety and trust inside the
group, in the presence of whoever I set up as ‘male authority!’ The next few days gave me the opportunity
to do all this, but as the lab drew to a close, I was left wanting more time with the group. For me, this
work had just begun. I have, since returning from the lab, been able to look at and heal more inwardly,
thanks to Anu and my “energy-healing” group I gained the following significant insight that I hold and
carry into other spaces because of seeing what was happening unfold in the group and through the actions
and feedback of my lab mates and facilitators:
Each member is an equal resource in the group, and each carries his/her light within them by being
whoever they are at that moment. Nobody has to ‘improve’, ‘become better’, ‘do something’ to be a
resource in the group. Each one as he/she is carries something of the group in themselves as they come
together to form this one organism. Whether it be ‘victim’ or ‘perpetrator’ or ‘saviour’ or ‘teacher’ or
‘student’ or ‘facilitator’ or ‘participant’ - no matter what labels, identities and roles we may give ourselves
and each other, by virtue of being in the group, as who we are, how we are, whatever our process is,
whatever limited or expansive or any other versions of ourselves we may bring in, we are still enough and
a unique resource to the group. That is how it is meant to be. How that is so is the mystery/ grace, the
inexplicable beyond life and space that works through each of us and the group.

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