Page 29 - Here and Now June 2022

● Broadly this process can be described as getting behind the Mask, experiencing feelings and
discovery of self in such experiencing.
We wear masks because we fear others might see the real person behind the mask and reject us.
People can find themselves wearing an externally imposed mask in order to prevent friction with
significant others. Often, others respect, love, accept and even admire the mask, leading to the
belief that the real person (self) would not be accepted.
Living this way, a person builds an impenetrable wall that hides even from one’s own self who
he/she truly is.

However, when we hide our true ‘self’ we also experience psychological distress as it takes all the
strength and creativity to keep the mask and the wall in place. Rogers believes that in a genuine,
accepting and empathic therapeutic relationship, participants feel safe enough to slowly remove
the mask and dismantle the wall when they are comfortable with and ‘accepting’ of themselves.
This is Rogers’s definition of ‘successful’ therapy

Person that Emerges

The last question explored in the book relates to the person that emerges through this process. The
process helps the person move AWAY –

● from Facades
● from oughts
from meeting expectations

● from pleasing others
And move TOWARDS

• Self-direction

● Being process-oriented
● Readiness to face complexity
● Being Open to experience
● Building Trust in one’s organism leading to wholeness
● Creating an Internal locus of evaluation
● Showing Willingness to be part of the process

The process facilitates answering the question ‘Who am I?’ In the process of this personality change, the
locus of control shifts from the external (‘What is expected of me?’) to internal (‘What do I want?’). The
person grows more aware and accepting of self, tends to view his/her emotions as something truly one’s
own and not as an external phenomenon.
This question made me (POONAM) a ‘thinking human’ and helped me begin to understand myself and
gave me insights that allowed me to eventually discover what makes me happy, what motivates me, what
I need to avoid in life and in general gain a framework for finding my inner self.

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